You know those fake images of DeLorean control panels sporting today’s date and claiming that this was the day that Doc and Marty travelled into in Back to the Future II? Yeah, well this time, it’s for real. October 21st 2015. An auspicious day and one that anyone with fine taste in films will have been counting down to for years. So in honour of Doc, Marty, Einstein/Copernicus, Jennifer and hell, even Biff, here are some observations/predictions regarding the South African beer scene in 1985, 2015 and peering forward another 30 years to 2045…
The beer of choice
In 1985… A pint of Castle
In 2015… A 330ml draught of IPA
In 2045… No need to lift the glass to your lips – behold, the hoverbeer! It raises itself to your mouth when it senses you need another sip.
The hops of choice
In 1985…Hops? Is that something you find in beer?
In 2015…Anything from the States that begins with a C.
In 2045…Freeze-dried, one-addition-only tablets that require no cold storage, which you drop into your brew and somehow they bitter, flavour and give aroma at all the right times and in all the right doses.
The food pairings
In 1985…Who cares – a boerie roll? That’ll do.
In 2015…A pulled pork sandwich on artisanal bread with truffle fries and pan-fried Brussel sprouts.
In 2045… A five-course gourmet dinner, swallowed in tablet form.
The beer philosophy
In 1985… Hand me a beer and I’ll drink it.
In 2015…Small is good, local is better, big corporations are evil – I prefer my beer to be brewed with the spit of a thousand bearded (male) virgins and aged on unicorn hooves.
In 2045… Hand me a beer and I’ll drink it.
The beer knowledge
In 1985… If I drink enough of it, I’ll get drunk.
In 2015…Ales are top-fermenting, lagers are bottom-fermenting; hops make beer bitter, malt gives colour and there are LOADS of styles of beer.
In 2045… This white IPA is a touch on the sweet side. I think the brewer needs to increase their beta-amylase rest.
The industry
In 1985… SAB is king.
In 2015… The King of Beers is poised to steal SAB’s crown.
In 2045… Due to the lack of interest in light lager, AB-Inbev has scaled back to nanobrewery status; the Brewers Co-op has conquered the beer globe.
So how will you be celebrating Back to the Future Day? With a Pepsi Perfect, a rehydrated pizza or maybe just by drinking a beer with your pockets turned inside out? All the kids are doing that in 2015 you know. Now please excuse me. I’m late for school…
That’s all nice and everything, but what I want to know is: “Where is my hoverboard?!”
Someone has some explaining to do!
#disappointed
At least they’re close with the Hoverboards. Well, they’ve tried…Where’s my flying car? And my floating fruit bowl??
And my fax machine…