Talk like a pirate, drink like a pirate

I be takin' me religion very serious.

If ye, like me, be a Pastafarian, ye’ll be knowing that Septembarrrrr 19th be a special day in the log book. It be International Talk Like a Pirate Day, when we honour our fallen seafarin’ mateys an’ the efforts they made t’ slow down global warrrming.

By way o’ celebratin’ this grog fest, I be bringin’ ye not only a ship’s log that be talkin’ like a pirate, but one that also be showin’ how ye can drink like one too. So, me hearrrrties, here be me message in a bottle, with seven suggestions o’ piratey grog that be best fer swiggin’ in South Africa – one for each o’ the seas ye can sail.

8.5% and pretty nasty - not doing wonders for the image of cans.

1) Pirate Extra Strong

This 8.5% lager be not a beer fer landlubbers. It also be not a beer fer salty sea dogs with tastebuds. Nasty stuff indeed, but a fine way ter block out the ravages of the high sea an’ the can is pretty piratey. An’ it also serves as a fine alternative if ye be needin’ ter make a matey walk the plank, but ye be short o’ wood, ships an’ sea.

2) Old Wobbly

The beer be named fer an old Cap’n friend o’ mine, whose peg leg got the rot. Whether ye believe the tale is true or not, the beer – a 7% lager hailin’ from Mitchell’s Brewery – has enough substance ter survive the high seas.

Valley-of-the-Skulls-3) Valley of the Skulls 2012

A comin’ together o’ sea an’ skulls. Be there a more piratey concoction? Tharrr be only a few bottles o’ this special grog still around, makin’ the chocolaty brew a true treasure t’behold.

4) The Kraken

The beast we all be fearin’ appears here in bottled form, courtesy of the shipmates at Triggerfish Brewin’. With IBUs topping 1000, it’s a bitter animal, sure t’bite ye in the ass the firrrrst chance he gets. Finish him before he finishes ye.

Loaded Cannon Logo copyfor web5) Loaded Canon Ale

Another potent brew, this one prepared on South African shores. It be tastin o’ treacle toffee and be a fine way t’be endin a day o’ swashbuckling. But bewarrre, at 10%, drainin’ more than one or two will knock yer sideways quicker than a run in with Davey Jones, leavin’ yer feelin’ like ye’ve really been hit by a cannon.

 

6) Dam Wolf Yellow Eyes

Arrrr, the scurvy be colourin’ the eyes o’ Porcupine Quill’s Dam Wolf and if ye sink a fleet o’ this 8% Belgian blond ye’ll be sportin’ similar eyes yerseelf on yer next watch. Make sure ye have a designated cap’n manning the ship’s wheel – the Dam Wolf range be not fer them at the helm.

RogueLaunch_DeaGuyAle-27) Dead Guy Ale

This brew be hailin’ from New World shores but its sail be set fer South Africa and its portrait be as piratey as a dead man’s chest. As balanced as a ship filled with booty, it’s not a brew fer landlubbin’ scallywags, but a hearrrty ale fer sippin’ after a long day o’ plunderin’.

Have ye suggestions fer some more piratey pints? Know ye of a grog fest takin’ place on International Talk Like a Pirate Day? Ship me a message in a bottle in the comments section below decks.

This post was first published on The Craft Beer Project.

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